A Matter of Death and Life

“Mourning is the price we pay for having the courage to love others.”

Irvin and Marilyn Yalom come together to write a beautifully moving book about death, life, and being the one left behind. It is a raw, poignant, and honest piece of work. where chapters are alternatively written by Irvin and Marilyn over the course of a year.

Marilyn reflects on her past, her accomplishments, her family, and documents her last battle with multiple myeloma. While she focuses on legacy, gratitude, and the meaning of a well-lived life, Irvin is a contrast to this and struggles with grief, loneliness and a fear of life without her. In addition, he explores his previous work with bereavement, his past experiences with death anxiety, and what it means to have a “good death”.

This dual-perspective memoir explores themes central to existential psychology such as mortality, love, loss, and how awareness of death shapes the way we live. I would highly recommend this book to anyone experiencing bereavement, anticipatory grief, or who has an interest in existential philosophy and psychology.