Book Review: The Kitchen Shrink

The Kitchen Shrink: How the Food We  Eat is Key to How We Love by Dr. Andrea Oskis is an enjoyable and emotional book which examines how our attachment styles present in our relationship with food. It combines patient stories along with Dr. Oskis’ personal insights and relates them back to theories by Bowlby, Ainsworth, and Winnicott. As a cute twist to the other anecdotal books similar to this, each chapter includes a recipe that relates to the patient story.

To paraphrase a part of the book where Dr. Oskis is addressing her students, “Tell me what you eat and I’ll tell you who you love.” Your story on attachment is reflected on your plate. This could be a specific comfort food you eat when you’re feeling low, eating whole chocolate cake to get over heartbreak à la Nigella Lawson, or eating the same lunch every day for twenty years.

Rose had a concept of “mum food”.  A safe, comforting dish that her mother made which mirrors the need for security. Mary Ainsworth said that when babies were hungry for food, they were hungry for attachment and security. It’s no wonder that these “mom foods” make us feel warm and safe.

A furious wife would over spice her husbands food in retaliation for his affair. The rejection, hurt, and anger she felt played out at the dinner table yet they were still dining together and had a routine that kept them intertwined.

A young woman coerced into a life altering decision was struggling with bereavement. Dr. Oskis allows us into a difficult and painful part of her life and how this impacted and enhanced the therapeutic relationship.

These are just a handful of the empathetic and moving stories included in this book. Dr. Oskis weaves theory, memoir, and client work in an engaging and accessible way for the readers. This book is suitable for all readers whether you are a counsellor already familiar with attachment theory or someone who just enjoys a good book about people, food, love, and life.